Hi!.. I’m the waitress at your local nudie bar… Hide this posting

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Welcome to your neighborhood nudie bar! Come in, have a seat, check out all the pretty girls. Oh, look! Here comes one now. But why is she fully clothed? I’ll tell you: because she’s me, your nudie bar waitress–here to tell you about our two drink minimum… 

“Two drinks!” you scream, “they didn’t tell us at the door!” 

Let me explain, idiot: 
They don’t tell you that at the door because they don’t want to scare you cheap bastards off. See, you come in, you see a naked dancing lady, chances are, even the cheap mofo’s want to stay. You’ll probably be too distracted by the live pussy to notice the signs on all the tables that say, “two drink minimum.” So I’ve been hired at minimum wage to inform you. 

I don’t tell you this. Instead, I smile, and in the sweetest, bubbliest voice minimum wage can buy, I say, 
“It’s not the doorman’s job to tell you about the two drink minimum, it’s MY job!” 
I hold a little sign with all the drinks and prices on it in front of you and ask kindly, “What would you like?” 

You ignore the sign and say, “I’ll have a Budweiser.” 

This is where I change my tone to sad and empathetic. 
“We don’t serve alcohol,” I explain, “It’s illegal in San Diego to have full nudity and alcohol.” 
I feel you. I understand. You make me want to drink. 
Other times, I think, good try, little under-21 punk. You only got in because it’s an 18 and up club. 

You finally look at the sign I’ve patiently held in front of your face. This is where you exclaim loudly, “$4.25 for a COKE?!!” 

Inwardly, I sigh. Outwardly, I correct, 
“$8.50. You have to buy two.” 
I sense your confusion, (not too good at math, eh?) so I explain again, 
“It’s a TWO drink minimum.” 

You’re speechless. 

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You should be friends with a stripper because of their social skills..

Welcome to ‘A Clique For Men’! Linktr.ee/ACliqueForMen

They can talk to young old attractive hideous fat slim tall short and every man in-between. Make no mistake, it isn’t just their bodies that have regulars coming back for more. Their ability to enthrall a man in conversation, while other naked women roam the club, is something to be noted. Even if the end result is someone getting off.

You should be friends with a stripper because of what she can teach you..

Welcome to ‘A Clique For Men’! Linktr.ee/ACliqueForMen

You should be friends with a stripper because of what they can teach you. Yes they’ll teach you sex positions and hip movements and striptease tricks designed to captivate. Most importantly, they’ll teach you confidence. While the world looks down at them and men seem to think they’re using them, those burlesque beauties hold their head up high and their asses out. That’s no easy feat.